Now, perhaps I’m just misjudging the subtext of what I’ve read in the blogo/Twitter-sphere, but I get the impression that there is consensus that 2011 was a particularly fine year for cinema. There were definitely a lot of great films released, and compiling the list below was not easy, but was it a particularly great year?

It was certainly a standout year for American (and English-language) cinema. With some exceptions, blockbusters were smarter and tighter, and even where they failed (Rise of the Planet of the Apes) they still had ambition. Source Code led the charge for a new wave of intelligent sci-fi thrillers. Bridesmaids and 50/50 showed that American comedies could have as much heart as they had bodily fluids. Drive proved enough flair on a filmmaker’s behalf could erase any need for strong dialogue or acting – yet that film brought some great lines and fine performances nonetheless. At Cannes, The Tree of Life conquered, and around the world audiences were left mesmerised and/or walked out of the cinema.

The build-up to 2012’s The Avengers continued with two enjoyable tongue-in-cheek superhero adventures, Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger; the success of both suggested the heroic team’s first outing will be one of the biggest films of this year. If rivals DC and Warner Bros wish to meet the Avengers threat head-on with a Justice League film, the critically mauled Green Lantern and a trailer for 2012’s The Dark Knight Rises should ensure that no one wants to see a JL film without Christopher Nolan at the helm any time soon.

After a terrific year in 2010, children’s films hit a hurdle – only one children’s film cracked my top 20, and it was released in the US in 2010. Martin Scorsese’s beautiful but shamefully overlong Hugo deserves applause however, even if it did prove once and for all (to me at least) that 3D cannot be mastered even by the most talented of filmmakers. Nostalgic methadone The Muppets and the enjoyable Kung Fu Panda 2 (which featured superb sequences of traditional hand-drawn animation) also narrowly missed my list.

As for documentaries… well, for work-related reasons I saw more docs last year than any year previous. Unfortunately many of them are so obscure that there is no point in listing them here. But suffice to say it was a strong year for documentary from around the world, even if the interesting but unambitious Inside Job won most of the acclaim this year. Docs like Senna and Page One: Inside the New York Times told their stories with far more flair.

A few notes on the list. Traditionally I have stuck with what was released in Ireland during each individual year, meaning that some of the previous year’s late releases (especially the Oscar push) end up on the subsequent year’s list – there’s never been a way of avoiding that. To add to the confusion now, I spent almost half of 2011 living in the United States, so this list may see some films released in late 2010 in the US but early 2011 in Ireland, while others will have yet to arrive in Irish cinemas yet.

It’s fair to say I didn’t see as many new films in 2011 as I might have liked (so few bad ones indeed, that I do not have enough to fill a “worst of 2011” list), but I did see a huge number of films this year. On the big screen, just some of the classics I saw include: Walkabout, The Driver, Paisan, Pickpocket, Network, The Wages of Fear, Quai des Brumes, The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp (a restoration presented in person by Scorsese and Thelma Schoonmaker), Bridge on the River Kwai, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Orpheus, The Warriors and The Big Lebowski. Most of these were made available to me during a three-month internship I undertook at the Museum of Modern Art in New York, a position I could talk endlessly about, but will not concern you with here.

That didn’t leave much room for new films, and amongst those I missed that I suspect may have challenged the films on this list are: Paul, The Beaver, Warrior, Moneyball, Take Shelter, My Week With Marilyn, Tyrannosaur, Fincher’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Skin I Live In, War Horse and The Adventures of Tintin.

Honourable mentions for films that I saw but barely missed out on the list are: Hugo, The Guard, The Muppets, Attack the Block, Senna, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2, Bridesmaids, The Inbetweeners Movie, Cave of Forgotten Dreams and Super 8.

Now, enough stalling… shall we?

20. The King’s Speech

The eventual reigning champion at last year’s Oscars, this was a beautifully produced and (for the most part) strongly acted account of the troubles faced by the young King George VI. A powerful and memorable ending casts a positive light on an otherwise largely forgettable flm; but damn, what an ending it is.

19. Troll Hunter

One of 2011’s most unexpected delights, this “found-footage” comedy/horror used the bizarre natural landscape of Norway as the perfect paradise for surprisingly realistic CGI trolls on a budget. An outrageously straight performance by Norwegian comic Otto Jespersen as the government-sponsored hunter of the title and surprisingly effective pseudo-science about troll biology made this film a sometimes scary but consistently hilarious outing – Man Bites Dog meets Rare Exports. “TROOOOOOOOOLL!” may have been the funniest delivery of a single word last year.

18. Tangled

Disney finally put a CG challenge to their successful underlings Pixar with this gorgeous retelling of the Rapunzel tale. Colourful, enchanting, witty and light, the film was only let down by standard music numbers and a fairytale parody feel all-too familiar from the Shrek films. A superb villain, a playful chameleon and an indestructible horse were all highlights, but the film’s greatest feat is the animation in Rapunzel’s seemingly endless waves of golden hair.

 17. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol

M:I4 came out at the end of a year which had featured some strong blockbusters but had been for the most part low on action (Transformers: Dark of the Moon notwithstanding). But Ghost Protocol made up for that. Beginning with a simple prison breakout, Ethan Hunt and his team go on to infiltrate the Kremlim, abseil the world’s tallest building and embark on a chase through a sandstorm where every grain can be heard whistling violently by the camera. The story was light spy fare, but the commitment by actors and filmmakers on show were as awe-inspiring as the stunts they pulled off for the camera.

16. The Descendants

Alexander Payne’s latest is a powerful family drama. George Clooney is impressive as a lawyer nigh-widowed when his wife is left in a vegetative state after a boating accident. Trying to hold his family together, he must also deal with a sale of his family’s massive estate on which many relatives are relying. Hawaii has never looked so naturally beautiful and also hideously metropolitan as it does here. The music is wonderfully chosen from local sources, and Shailene Woodley gives one of the year’s best performances as the distraught and destructive older daughter. However, the film’s tiresome insistence on ending every dramatic scene with a punchline keeps it from being one of the greatest of recent American dramas.

15. True Grit

The Coens went west again with this adaptation of Charles Portis’s book, while still undeniably owing credit to the John Wayne-starring original. With two terrific performances at its centre by Jeff Bridges and Hailee Steinfeld and stunning golden-brown cinematography, this was a notable entry in the Coens’ canon. Expectedly wacky minor characters and some thrilling and tense shoot-outs added to the fun.

14. Pina

An incredible documentary and the finest live-action 3D film yet produced (although still far from faultless in terms of that technology), Pina is a work of love in memory of the late choreographer Pina Bausch. Wim Wenders controls the cameras but he allows Pina’s choreography to direct the film, as her company, each member an instrument of their master, performs sensational modern dance pieces. The energy and beauty of the dances are on full display, as four massive ensemble pieces are intercut with brief personal performances by each of the dancers. For the most part the 3D recreates the depth of viewing dance in theatre while allowing the viewer to feel the power and intensity of each performance more intimately. The film has emerged from a tragedy (Pina’s sudden death just before filming began) to become a testament to one woman’s remarkable legacy.

 13. Poetry

South Korean star Yoon Jeong-hee emerged from retirement to star in this superb, harrowing drama about an ailing grandmother forced to raise money for a legal settlement after her grandson is implicated in the suicide of a teenaged girl. Unexpectedly powerful and heartfelt, Poetry is carried by Jeong-hee’s sensational performance as she tries to find the will, energy and love to do whatever it takes to save her grandson from prison.

12. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

This superbly shot, atmospheric spy thriller was one of the year’s most audience-dividing films, but few could doubt its style and the acting strength of its terrific ensemble cast. Despite some pacing troubles caused by adapting an extremely meaty book, Tomas Alfredson latest film maintained tension and intrigue from start to finish, while injecting some superb character drama into proceedings. Old-school storytelling meets modern filmmaking precision.

11. Kill List

The only film on this list that I can openly say I do not know if I wish to see it ever again. This genre-shifting oddity – part thriller, part horror, part kitchen sink drama – came out of nowhere this year; a low-budget Yorkshire production. With frenzied performances and horrific but effective storytelling, editing and imagery, this unforgettable beast manages to terrorise its audience but unlike most modern horrors actually has a genuine story. Family, friendship and the damage rage can do to them are the subjects at this film’s core. Unmissable – if your stomach can handle that sort of thing.

10. We Need to Talk About Kevin

It may have suffered from budgeting problems but this drama, about a mother who cannot love her son, is crafted by truly expert hands. Lynne Ramsay directs the irreproachable Tilda Swinton as the troubled mother – uncertain if her child is evil or, worse, if her fearing that is making him so. A wonderful mesh of flashbacks weave together a devastating story, told with wonderful plays of lighting and editing. Swinton gives perhaps the greatest performance of her career to date, while co-stars John C. Reilly and Ezra Miller offer strong support.

 9. Midnight in Paris

Woody Allen’s latest comeback is his best film in decades. Owen Wilson fills Allen’s acting shoes with aplomb as a writer nostalgic for an era he has never known – Paris in the ’20s. When, escaping his passionless fiancée, he inadvertently finds himself time-travelling to that age, he finds inspiration from his idols and, unexpectedly, a truer love in the form of Pablo Picasso’s mistress (Marion Cotillard). Beautifully shot, cunningly scripted and with a soundtrack to warm the heart, the film is elevated further by a series of charming cameos; most notably Adrien Brody, hamming it up magnificently as Salvador Dalí.

8. Black Swan

Darren Aronofsky’s film about obsession on the ballet stage combines the wildness of Powell and Pressburger with the psychological and body horror of David Cronenberg. Anchored by an incredible performance from Natalie Portman, this is a stylish, sexualised psychological thriller about a mental breakdown spurred on by determination to be the best. Ominous production design and chaotic editing kept the audience as confused and terrified as its lead character.

 7. Shame

Following his sensational breakthrough Hunger, director Steve McQueen’s second film is a tragic and overwhelmingly honest portrayal of a sex addict. The year’s biggest surprise star, Michael Fassbender, gives a disturbing but spellbinding performance in the lead role as a man obsessed with his own need. Carrie Mulligan gives a fine performance as his sister, the only person who stands a hope of getting through to him in his self-destructive cocoon, but who has her own problems to deal with. Shot with the director’s now signature style of long takes and anchored cameras, Shame gets you inside the head of a man you were happier only knowing the exterior of. A gripping, sorrowful, shameless movie.

 6. A Separation

As human as any drama could hope to be, this Iranian feature tells the story of a couple as they prepare to divorce, and the effect it has on their teenaged daughter. When an accident implicates the husband in a terrible crime, the familial bonds are tested to their limit. A Separation is an incredible, original-feeling story, in which every shot is sensitively composed, and the actors play out the drama with more conviction than most filmmakers could dream of finding. An unexpected gem of Iranian cinema.

5. Drive

Taking its cue from Walter Hill’s existential car chase classic The Driver, untameable Danish filmmaker Nicolas Winding Refn made his American debut with more class and style than most of Hollywood’s heavy-hitters could hope to conjure in an entire career. Shot so slickly the screen appears to ooze light and colour (and later, blood), and with a soundtrack that can only be described as “awesome”, Drive took the whole world by storm and topped countless best of lists in 2011. Ryan Gosling plays the largely silent lead role calm and cool, but the film is stolen by the enigmatic Albert Brooks as a business-savvy mafia boss who takes no prisoners.

4. Melancholia

Perhaps Lars von Trier’s finest film to date, this drama of personal agony/apocalyptic sci-fi nightmare was one of the most hotly debated films last year. It tells the story of a young woman’s lapse into a destructive depression as the very literal metaphor of the planet Melancholia begins a collision course with Earth. As our heroine, Kirsten Dunst reveals herself a remarkable actress of hitherto unexplored talents. However, several of the film’s other performances – especially those of Charlotte Gainsbourg, Charlotte Rampling and Kiefer Sutherland – deserve outstanding praise also. The film’s overture, a stunning sequence of painterly foreshadowings, and its conclusion in an orgy of emotion, light and music, make it a truly remarkable piece of filmmaking from an endlessly challenging filmmaker.

3. 13 Assassins

One of the year’s most over-looked films, 13 Assassins echoes the greatness of Seven Samurai while creating a grittier, more violent and altogether more carefree film. Takashi Miike builds the drama over the course of an hour, setting his band of samurai against an army of warriors and their utterly despicable master. When the tension finally gives way, one of the most remarkably orchestrated battle scenes in recent memory erupts in a flurry of swords, severed limbs and flaming cattle. The film’s realistic look and soundscape allow for a perverse weirdness to seep through, which provides a truly breathtaking entertainment.

2. The Tree of Life

A surprise victor at Cannes in 2011, Terrence Malick’s latest is a glorious thing to behold. The story of a Texas family is told in flashes of light and memory, accompanied by angelic music and bolstered by outstanding acting by Brad Pitt, Jessica Chastain and Hunter McCracken. Through imagery of the dawn of time and the rise and demise of the dinosaurs Malick demonstrates the true reality of life; the lord giveth and the lord taketh away. Composed of one eye-shatteringly gorgeous image after the other, The Tree of Life simply has no equal in terms of skill in filmmaking. Only a misused Sean Penn and a clichéd (though beautiful) coda could be said to make this film anything less than a masterpiece.

1. The Artist

The filmmaker/actor partnership behind a pair of slight but playful French spy spoofs unexpectedly burst onto the global stage in a flurry of unbridled joy in 2011. The Artist, a silent tale of silent movies and the silent men and women behind them, is not just a throwback to the classics of old Hollywood, but is a touching, timely drama about obsoleteness and getting back on your feet. More importantly, it is a delightful, playful and utterly charming comedy that takes the visual medium to a place it hasn’t gone with such panache in over 80 years. Michel Hazanavicius directs like a silent-era pro, as if he were one of the European émigrés who built early Hollywood arriving a little too late to the party. In the lead role of former silent star George Valentin, Jean Dujardin is electric; every muscle in his body goes into his dazzling performance, his face does more work than most actors do with their entire beings. As his young muse, Bérénice Bejo provides a perfect mirror of physical support, while Valentin’s remarkable pet dog (also his co-star) steals many scenes without bending a whisker. As much homage as it is a work of sheer class in and of itself, The Artist is a joy-filled crowd-pleaser which also toys with the medium with some remarkable, truly satisfying results.

That's all folks!

Two word review: Just lovely

Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris has given us a lot. It’s given us Owen Wilson at his best, and shown him to be a superb vessel for Allen’s undying spirit to work through. It’s given us Marion Cotillard at her most beautiful and charming, and proven the First Lady of France can act. But more than anything else it’s given us Adrien Brody playing Salvador Dalí.

Find me the filmgoer who enjoyed a scene in this wonderful movie more than Brody’s outrageous cameo and I’ll show you a liar, a madman or a fool.

Can't say fairer than that

Brody’s scenery-inhaling performance totally eclipsed his fellow actors, portraying Luis Buñuel and Man Ray, and practically pushed Wilson, the film’s star, out of the frame. With larger-than-life bombast, Brody’s (and Allen’s) tribute to the sublime surrealist brings us to one obvious (and yet somehow thus far ignored) conclusion: the world is ready for a Dalí biopic starring Adrien Brody.

Now imagine it moving

And what a biopic that would be. Dalí’s life is full of fascinating contradictions: his surrealist leanings clashed time and again with his Catholic heritage; he struggled with his national identity as a Spaniard during the Franco era while travelling the world as an icon of the modern art world; his work varied from the avant-garde to the surprisingly commercial.

Add to that a tale of a strong (and lasting) love affair with Gala Dalí, potential for magnificent special effects incorporating his artworks and even a snapshot of movements in film history (and who in Hollywood does not love films about film history?!).

If restaging sequences from his terrifying and controversial works with Buñuel, L’Age d’Or or Un Chien Andalou, doesn’t interest you, just look at what he did in Hollywood working with the likes of Hitchcock and Disney:

The horrific…

…and the sublime.

And that’s not to mention his interactions with Andy Warhol (another figure of the 20^th Century art scene who cinema has struggled to capture) – this anecdote tells how not even the legendary pop artist could not control the surrealist superstar (then in his 60s).

And what about Brody? Do you fear he could not pull off a feature of this nature? His acting chops have been proven in The Thin Red Line and The Pianist – the latter for which he remains the youngest-ever recipient of the Best Actor Oscar. And the same physical silliness he displayed in Midnight in Paris sustained him for the duration of The Darjeeling Limited, a film he mercilessly stole (again, curiously, from Owen Wilson).

So look at it this way, and I’m talking now to those people with money and not enough ideas in Hollywood: you have the story, and you have the star (and proof he can play the role). What more do you need?

I hope my readers will join me now in demanding Dalí without delay. Who’s with me?

... he would be.

"He's here to clean up the streets"

I am a huge fan of the work on display at Fake Criterions, where artists create Criterion Collection-style covers for films that don’t deserve to be listed amongst such superb films. (Note: if you have to check to see what Criterion is, you may be visiting the wrong blog). Last month Fake Criterions launched their “Double Fakeout Fake Criterions” month, where designers were challenged to create fake DVD box art for films that never existed to begin with, but which were mentioned within the fiction of other films, TV shows and so forth. I finally seized my chance to give it a try, and with considerable help from the Photoshop skills of Emily Bohannon, produced the entry above.

Flight of the Conchords fans will recognise the reference to the episode “The Actor”, in which aspiring actor/dry cleaner Ben (Will Forte) claims he has been offered a role in Martin Scorsese’s latest feature, Dry Cleaner, but fails to convince the show’s heroes to believe him. In a scene tucked into the end credits, Dry Cleaner is revealed to be a “real” film, featuring John Turturro. Dry Cleaner is undeniably a better credit for that actor than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen!

Unfortunately, Fake Criterions were not sold on it, and it did not make it onto their site, but I’m very proud of it, so here it is.

Oh, and if you think this was obscure, bear in mind that my last post was about a book on a shelf in the background of one shot in a documentary about finance. So… yeah.

Last week I checked out this year’s Oscar-winning documentary Inside Job, as much to educate myself in the global financial meltdown that has become the defining event of the past three years as to see the film that took the award from Banksy’s delightful Exit Through the Gift Shop. Inside Job is a terrific, if simple, documentary on a tough subject, and it certainly deserves the accolades coming its way. For two hours I was amused, educated, upset and enraged by the events, figures and interviews the film covers in its scope.

But I’d be lying if I said I took it all in. A combination of tiredness (later revealed to be caused by the onset of a bronchial infection – plot twist!) and an awful lot of figures (economics is in my DNA, but I am a mutant) caused me to occasionally lose the flow of the debate, during which time I found myself studying the limited detail on screen. In a talking heads documentary, this could mean only one thing… reading the titles of books on the shelves behind the interviewees.

Oh don’t say you’ve never done it! We’ve all been there. Strangely however, my meandering eye would eventually pick out the highlight of the film for me. Amidst the piles of economic textbooks, banking forecasts and Icelandic census data, was a book titled Samurai Boogie.

Samurai Boogie: Honestly, it was clearer on the big screen

One of the most interesting things about this little discovery is that it is on the shelf of Robert Gnaizda, the moustachioed former policy-maker who is one of the few interviewees who acquits himself admirably, if not heroically. Compare him to these creeps, with their shelf-loads of books like Beyond Greed and Fear, Inside the Economist’s Mind and The Theory of Corporate Finance. In this light Robert Gnaizda seems all the more honest, approachable and human.

Admittedly, a little bit of internet searching has revealed that Samurai Boogie was written by Peter Tasker, a “former financial analyst-turned-author“. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a trashy political thriller with a cover that looks like this:

So the real question now is not how do we get ourselves out of the financial hole that years of Wall Street and Washington recklessness have dug for us, but who owns the rights to the movie version of Samurai Boogie and is there some way we can get Robert Gnaizda a cameo in it to thank him for bringing it to our attention?

Coming to a cinema near you soon, probably starring James Franco

Excitement is building as the nominees begin to arrive for the 2011 Academy Awards. The show should fall in the centre of the entertaining/cringe-making/intellectually insulting Venn diagram. The young hosts have a lot to lose – our respect mostly – especially James Franco, the star du jour whose name seems to be linked with every major picture announced in the past two weeks. The battle for Best Picture is really only down to two films, The Social Network and The King’s Speech, while the acting gongs are almost all certs, barring Best Supporting Actress, so don’t expect any major upsets.

Here’s hoping it’s a fun night, or at least one we can mock mercilessly for its terribleness.

Feel free to follow me on Twitter at @DeusExCinema for updates as well.

It’s after 11pm here, but we’ll be working on LA time, as per usual.

3.40pm – Amy Adams’s dress is sparkly but plain. Best Supporting Actress nominee, third time unlucky.

3.41pm – Mila Kunis’s dress is perfection. In that it makes me think I can see her nipples.

3.44pm – Michelle Williams looks great, but not very much like Michelle Williams. Are those things linked?

3.49pm – Mandy Moore looks pretty. Mandy Moore has no reason to be here, but she looks pretty.

3.50pm – Hailee Steinfeld’s dress is a little too old for her. Trying too hard, young lady.

3.52pm – Jennifer Hudson has lost a lot of weight. She looks good, but you’d be worried after all she’s been through.

3.53pm – Geoffrey Rush looks like David Letterman’s keyboard guy.

3.55pm – Cate Blanchett, good god no! Why do you want to be that person everyone mocks?

3.56pm – Purple and yellow, with Goldie Hawn’s shotgun hole from Death Becomes Her.

3.58pm – Jeremy Renner; the only young actor who doesn’t look like he just fell out of bed.

3.59pm – Oh god, Scarlett Johansson has gone with the “rape hair” look.

4.05pm – So is Florence Welch performing or is she just an additional famous person of the hour? She looks suitably zombie bride.

4.07pm – Twilight something or other during the Oscars? Kill me now.

4.09pm – Ah, Justin Timberlake, a popstar who has a right to be here!

4.11pm – Didn’t see Blue Valentine, suspect it would make me cry/kill myself. Meanwhile, Michelle Williams looks like a glass of champagne.

4.12pm – Marisa Tomei looks like a racoon. A racoon I want to give me rabies.

4.18pm – Helena Bonham Carter has come in character. Which character? Every character she’s ever played.

4.20pm – Ah Hilary Swank, always dancing across that line of I would so totally hit that and back again. (she’s on the former side tonight)

4.21pm – Colin Firth, looking perfectly blandly handsome.

4.22pm – Steven Spielberg’s daughter looks so like him it’s frightening.

4.23pm – Jennifer Lawrence: sheer, unadulterated perfection.

4.24pm – Helen Mirren looks great, but the colour of the dress looks… unpainted.

4.25pm – Stupid sexy Bardem-Cruzs.

4.26pm – Christian Bale has a… beard. What kind of beard is that? It’s certainly a beard.

4.28pm – Josh Brolin has not been this clean-shaven since The Goonies.

4.29pm – Reese Witherspoon has stolen Barbarella’s hair!

4.30pm – Nicole Kidman’s dress is… confusing.

4.32pm – Dang y’all, is that Matthew McConaughey’s real accent?!

4.34pm – Gwyneth Paltrow has stolen Barbarella’s costume!

4.38pm – Sandra Bullock, also in red. I have nothing more to add.

4.40pm – The Curious Case of Halle Berry. She has not aged, ever.

4.41pm – Donald Trump’s hair makes it look like his forehead has been censored.

4.48pm – Mark Wahlberg always looks like he’s about to punch someone. Except in The Fighter, strangely.

4.50pm – Disappointed by Anne Hathaway’s dress. Imagine she’ll have a costume change or two…

4.56pm – Natalie is very pregnant, but hardly as glamorous as she could/should be. Still would though, so hard the baby would be born blind.

5.01pm – Jennifer Lawrence is back on the screen. Can we keep her there?

5.04pm – Stop talking about her dress, amazing as it is. LOOK AT HER HAIR?!?

5.08pm – Melissa Leo’s dress looks like it could be used to mop up spills. Glad she’s not as terrifying as her character in The Fighter in real life.

5.10pm – James Franco looks stoned oh god James Franco looks stoned oh god James Franco looks stoned oh god James Franco looks stoned oh god…

5.13pm – Armie Hammer. What a guy! What two guys!

5.14pm – E! have finally caved to my desires and are just showing Jennifer Lawrence on a loop.

5.21pm – Aw, Hailee Steinfeld seems just lovely. Just lovely.

5.23pm – Who is that girl holding hands with Michelle Williams…?

5.28pm – Tom Hanks, what a pro.

5.32pm – It’s starting – Inception sketch!

5.33pm – Alec Baldwin stunt cameo!

5.35pm – Oh Morgan Freeman and his narration jokes.

5.36pm – You just got Inceptioned!

5.38pm – Love the Back to the Future reference!

5.38pm – Anne re-emerges in a much nicer dress. Good job.

5.39pm – Oh dear, this is already a little cringey.

5.40pm – Has a host ever been nominated before?

5.42pm – Where is the dad in Toy Story 3?

5.42pm – Because when I think Gone With the Wind, I think Tom Hanks.

5.43pm – Oh my god, why are we studying Titanic?

5.44pm – Production Design… The King’s Speech for an early start?

5.45pm – No! Alice in Wonderland takes it!

5.46pm – Aw, a tiny hat. Good way to end a terrible speech.

5.47pm – Inception takes Cinematography. Surprising loss for The Social Network.

5.51pm – Is James Franco using Anne Hathaway as a prop?

5.52pm – Kirk Douglas?! Hooray!

5.56pm – Kirk Douglas knows who Hugh Jackman and Colin Firth are!

5.57pm – He took his time beautifully with that! The Oscar for Best Supporting Actress goes to Melissa Leo!

5.59pm – Melissa Leo wins best spontaneous swearing of the night.

6.01pm – Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. This could get sexy.

6.02pm – Best Animated Feature and Short coming up… after some iPhone comedy.

6.03pm – These all look lovely, but I have to back Day & Night…

6.03pm – But it’s The Lost Thing. Yay?

6.05pm – Toy Story 3 has this in the bag… alas.

6.06pm – Toy Story 3! Shock. Horror.

6.07pm – Why is everyone who works at Pixar so insanely camp?

6.12pm – Anne is back to pimp some more historical nonsense. Someone’s speech is gonna get cut short for this.

6.13pm – Best Adapted Screenplay presented by 1920s doctors Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin.

6.15pm – Aaron Sorkin wins! He was always going to, some day. He sounds utterly unsurprised, and referenced my favourite film Network!

6.16pm – That orchestra pit hates Aaron Sorkin.

6.17pm – Best Original Screenplay… Inception? Probably.

6.18pm – No, it’s The King’s Speech. Great writing, admittedly.

6.19pm – He doesn’t have a stutter!

6.23pm – Uh oh, Anne Hathaway is in a tux.

6.25pm – Well, the dress explains why James Franco has been missing the last half hour.

6.26pm – Helen Mirren nails Russell Brand.

6.27pm – Denmark’s In a Better World wins Best Foreign Language Picture. I have not seen this film. Or heard of it.

6.29pm – Best Supporting Bale, surely.

6.32pm – A deserved win for The Fighter. Bloody hell indeed!

6.33pm – Bearded Bale makes Bale Out reference!

6.39pm – Woooh! Boring!

6.39pm – The cast of Australia is here.

6.40pm – Enough history, give out music awards already!

6.42pm – Best Original Score, Inception vs The Social Network, I presume.

6.43pm – Trent Reznor for The Social Network. No big surprise. Very even handing for the awards so far tonight…

6.45pm – Scarlett’s new boyfriend?

6.46pm – I hate the SOUND of them both.

6.47pm – Inception is about to do some technical cleaning up.

6.48pm – Oh, that was Sound Mixing. Now Sound Editing.

6.49pm – More Inception.

6.53pm – What is James Franco on?

6.54pm – Brilliant, Marisa Tomei presents technical nonsense. Yay! Technical nonsense!

6.55pm – Cate Blanchett is here to pimp The Hobbit through The Lord of the Rings. Oh, and present Makeup and Costume awards.

6.56pm – The critically derided The Wolfman wins Best Makeup. Well, there you go. Hope for all of us yet.

6.58pm – Costume could go anywhere. But it went to Alice in Wonderland. Looks like you can buy Academy Awards after all…

7.00pm – Damn, costume lady can talk.

7.01pm – Vox pop songs! With Obama bonus!

7.04pm – Damn, Randy Newman’s voice is gone.

7.05pm – Oh right, that’s why Mandy Moore is here. Like her new dress. Not a fan of the song.

7.12pm – Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal. Someone else he can have no onscreen chemistry with whatsoever.

7.13pm – The award for Best Documentary Short Subject goes to Strangers No More. Aw, Asian kids are cute.

7.15pm – And God of Love wins Best Short. Best Hair, more like!

7.17pm – Auto-tune for the win!

7.19pm – I want to play with Anne Hathaway’s dress!

7.20pm – Oprah’s keeping it real… with the Best Documentary Award.

7.21pm – Inside Job takes it. No Oscar for Banksy.

7.27pm – Billy Crystal. Shit just got real.

7.28pm – In one minute Crystal has gotten more laughs than anyone else all night.

7.30pm – All that, a tribute to Bob Hope. God, this could get funny.

7.31pm – Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law make the most of the Holmes/Watson dichotomy.

7.33pm – Special Effects goes deservedly to Inception.

7.35pm – Editing goes to The Social Network. 127 Hours deserved it, but was never going to win.

7.39pm – At this stage it’s beginning to look like The Social Network‘s night. Not over yet though…

7.41pm – Now Anne Hathaway is in red. She looks amazing.

7.42pm – Jennifer Hudson is back, presenting A R Rahman and Florence Welch. This could get awesome…

7.44pm – And then Gwyneth Paltrow started singing. I sing better than this in the shower.

7.45pm – I didn’t really like any of these songs.

7.47pm – Randy Newman wins it. Seven out of 20 is still pretty good going…

7.48pm – “You could find a fifth song!” You go Randy Newman!

7.52pm – Celine Dion is here to help us cry.

7.55pm – Tony Curtis, Leslie Nielsen, Pete Postlethwaite, Lynn Redgrave, Dennis Hopper, Blake Edwards. Farewell to a lot of greats.

7.59pm – Only four awards to go? Where did the night go? Oh wait, I spent it drinking, eating Pringles and staring at two screens at once.

8.01pm – Anne Hathaway is wearing a dress of liquid blue. Well done.

8.02pm – Here’s foxy Kathryn Bigalow. No men nominated this year though.

8.02pm – No award for David Fincher! Shocker! Tom Hooper wins for The King’s Speech. What does this mean? *head explode*

8.05pm – The moral of the story is listen to your mother.

8.06pm – Clips of much more talented people getting awards they truly deserve. Hooray!

8.10pm – Where in the world is Jean-Luc Goddard?

8.12pm – Yay Jeff Bridges. Seeming utterly sober!

8.13pm – Serious spoiler alert on some of these clips tonight.

8.14pm – Can we please give Jennifer Lawrence the Oscar for Best Picture?

8.16pm – Natalie Portman wins for Black Swan, bien sûr.

8.18pm – Oh just give the baby the Oscar already!

8.20pm – Can anyone stop Sandra Bullock from giving this award to Colin Firth?

8.24pm – James Franco backstage. Embarassing.

8.25pm – Colin Firth wins!

8.28pm – A strong, heartfelt speech. Bravo!

8.29pm – Wait, one award left and they take an ad break? God I hate America some times.

8.31pm – Seriously, how many times are they gonna let Spielberg give out the damn Best Picture Oscar?

8.33pm – Is this montage not kind of giving it to The King’s Speech?

8.35pm – The King’s Speech! Wow, quite the upset for it to take both awards. Impressive job, though not convinced it was the best.

8.37pm – So wait, no more awards for The Wolfman?

8.39pm – CHILDREN!!! THERE ARE CHILDREN SINGING! GIVE CHILDREN OSCARS!

8.44pm – Well, that was what we predicted initially, but then became a surprise after the night’s events. It’s been a great night everyone, even if one of the hosts was barely even there at all. Goodnight all, it’s been fun!

The BAFTAs are now over so it is officially time to go into Oscar-mania overdrive. A fortnight from this moment fever pitch will have been reached, and four hours of so-so entertainment will begin. As someone switching on Around the World in 80 Days for the first time will think: with this many stars it has to be amazing, right?! Eh, it’s fine. The Oscars will be too.

As many have noted the problem with the Academy these days is that, coming in rapid succession after the Golden Globes, BAFTAs and VAGs (Various Assorted Guilds), the word Oscar is now synonymous with predictable. But somehow I am holding out hope for a few surprises this year. I’m also holding out hope that hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway don’t suck – a boy can dream, right?

And the nominees for Best Picture are…

The King’s Speech

Leading the pack with an impressive, perhaps surprising twelve nominations, The King’s Speech is certainly a forerunner, though hardly anointed. It has the Hurt Locker edge, having won the BAFTA while the curiously unprescient Globes* gave their top nod to The Social Network (the Globes embarrassingly whored themselves out to Avatar in 2010). It also has a slew of top talent at next-to the height of their game – Colin Firth is a very difficult one to challenge for Best Actor, while Geoffrey Rush has lost none of his Shine (not apologising, you can’t make me) and would be a shoe-in for Best Supporting in other years. But the film has everything an Academy favourite needs: costumes and colour, wit and drama, happily-ever-after love, a WWII setting and of course a triumph-over-adversity tale that would make it this year’s Rocky if Rocky weren’t already nominated this year (see The Fighter, below).

Don’t expect a clean sweep, but if it starts one, it’ll nail Best Picture.

True Grit

The Coen brothers have been Academy favourites for some time now, and in the rare position that the film-going public at large love them also. True Grit is a spectacle alright, put together with all the flair the Coens can manage, but is it enough? Jeff Bridges could dethrone Firth (pun noticed, but unintended) for Best Actor, but despite their shared alcoholism the role is more The Dude than Bad Blake – his Oscar-winning role from last year’s Crazy Heart, and unlikely to steal the Academy voters’ hearts in quite the same manipulative way. The film’s breakthrough star, Hailee Steinfeld, has a much greater chance of taking home the Best Supporting Actress gong, although the Academy has been destructively patronising in not granting the youth a nomination in the leading category.

With ten nominations, most positively Art Direction, Costume Design and Cinematography, it may not win big, but it’d be a shock if it walked away empty-handed.

Inception

So The Dark Knight is held solely responsible for there being ten nominees in the Best Picture category now. Christopher Nolan is one of the most talented filmmakers alive today, but damn his fans are more terrifyingly devout than a Jihadi horde! So with an extra five spaces there would be further outrage/terror campaigns if his first film since The Dark Knight did not make the cut. And rightly so, Inception was one of the best films of 2010, but it is still the token audience-panderer, and has no chance of taking the big prize. The big coup would be for it to win Best Original Screenplay, but against The King’s Speech, Another Year and The Kids are All Right it seems to hold only a small chance. But technical awards should abound, and its music stands a fighting chance as the bombastic epic score against The King’s Speech‘s more traditional and The Social Network‘s more experimental nominees.

The Nolanistas will be disappointed.

The Social Network

Until recently this appeared unchallengeable to take Best Picture, but that seems uncertain now. Fincher’s drama has a lot to say for itself; it’s modern, character-driven, dripping in style. Outside of the director’s traditional thriller zone, he’s produced a mighty impressive movie. But it’s one that is greater than the sum of its parts (unlike The King’s Speech, which is simply a collection of great parts), so it will likely not clean up on the awards, which may affect its Best Picture chances. Jesse Eisenberg stands almost no chance at Best Actor, but if it loses out on Best Picture a win for David Fincher would be a great runner-up prize. Aaron Sorkin, a master of dialogue, seems destined to win a writing Oscar some day. Taking Best Original Screenplay this year is a strong possibility.

If it doesn’t win Best Picture, it could easily cut into The King’s Speech‘s spoils. It’s not out of the race yet.

The Fighter

Ah bless, how we struggle against adversity. And not just one adversity, but two! Two characters, struggling against two adversities! Why the fighter of the title could refer as easily to the struggles of the main characters as it could to the fact that the film is about boxing! OK, I’m being far meaner than this strong film deserves. The Fighter would be a superb film if it weren’t so darn familiar. With no chance at the big awards and unlikely to receive many technicals, The Fighter‘s strongest suit is in its supporting stars. Christian Bale will have little competition for Best Supporting Actor, given a superb turn as a crack-addicted former “star” boxer, unless the Academy decides to effectively dry hump The King’s Speech and throw this to Geoffrey Rush. Amy Adams, always the supporting bridesmaid, never the supporting bride, has already lost this to her co-star Melissa Leo, who is Hailee Steinfeld’s big competition. That will be a fun one to watch…

In another year it’d have had a crack at the title. All it can hope for now is a supporting sweep.

127 Hours

Danny Boyle is clearly still riding high on Slumdog Millionaire, as the same film made by any other director (not that it could have been, this well) would never have gotten a nod here. Still, it’s good to see this terrific film getting a chance at the big award – no ‘arm in that now, is there? (sorry) It’s biggest chance at an award is in the editing category, which it is undoubtedly deserving, but may be a touch too experimental for the Academy’s liking. James Franco deserves his Best Actor nomination in a role that showed the performer reveal a more mature side to himself, although the show’s host will no doubt be left a little red-faced when his name is not announced on the night. This is a problem the Academy should have foreseen and never allowed to happen.

Maybe editing, maybe nothing.

Black Swan

Quite the nail-biter (OK, I’ll stop), Black Swan looked like a major contender when its trailer first hit the internet last year, but I suspect it will be too much of a horror for the voters to make it Best Picture. A Best Director trophy for Aronofsky seems similarly unlikely, but the film will likely escape with an enviable Best Actress award in a very competitive year – Natalie Portman’s mesmerising physical presence in the film is worth a nomination before she even opens her mouth. Cinematography could go Black Swan‘s way, but competing with True Grit, Inception, The King’s Speech and The Social Network, I wouldn’t hold out hope for it.

Too gruesome to take anything more than a well-deserved Best Actress award.

Toy Story 3

Last year, Up‘s nomination in the Best Picture category made a bold statement about what a remarkable animated achievement that film was. While Toy Story 3 is also a triumph for Pixar, it is not one on the same level as Up, and its nomination in the Best Picture category only serves to give it an unfair advantage in the Best Animated Feature category, where it is up against superb (and arguably superior) competition in the form of The Illusionist and How to Drain Your Dragon. A shame really.

Pixar win another gong, but it should not have been the anointed animated victor the Academy has made it.

The Kids Are All Right

The token indie drama, this pleasant but confused little film never stood a chance at Best Picture. Mark Ruffalo, nominated Best Supporting Actor for his hardly outstanding role, needn’t bother turning up on the night, while Annette Bening is standing in for Meryl Streep this year. Its only hope is Best Original Screenplay, but even that seems far out of reach.

The Awards Are All Lost

Winter’s Bone

A curious addition, more comfortable triumphing at Sundance than in Hollywood, Winter’s Bone has few hopes of victory, though the nominations will boost its profile (and particularly that of its star). Despite its bleak setting and social commentary, it’s a surprisingly straightforward tale – perhaps why it sat well with the Academy voters – so it hasn’t really got the narrative punch to get it much of a look-in for Best Picture. Jennifer Lawrence would be a deserving Best Actress winner, but to steal it would be almost impossible; this is Natalie’s year. John Hawkes, star of several films previously but practically unknown to most, can expect a surge of interest after his turn here, but with Rush almost guaranteed the Supporting Actor gong if Bale somehow fails to take it home, he doesn’t stand much of a chance.

A miracle, albeit a happy one, is needed to get this a single gong.

As for the rest of the awards, nothing is too certain. Certainly a win for Banksy with Exit Through the Gift Shop would be a turn-up for the books, and perhaps lead to the most memorable acceptance… speech?… in Academy Award history. Biutiful has Javier Bardem behind it for Best Foreign Language Film, but after last year’s frankly insane spurning of The White Ribbon and A Prophet (as well as the noticeable absence this year of the heart-wrenching Of Gods and Men) anything could happen. Dogtooth could win the damn thing!

The real winners or losers on the night will be the show’s producers, however. They’ve taken a huge gamble on their hosts that could backfire enormously. We’ll have to wait and see.

See you in two weeks.

* Since 2004 the Golden Globes have only awarded their Best Motion Picture – Drama award to the eventual Oscar winner once; Slumdog Millionaire in 2009.

This image is to help explain the awkward pun in the title

The path to blogging hell is paved with good intentions, but I hope now that after a long absence I can return to my writing with a renewed confidence. And should I fail again, so be it.

But I have more free time now than I have had in the previous months, so expect a few reviews and opinion pieces, an overdue round-up of my favourite films of 2010 (and, err, 2009) and of course my annual live-blogging of the Oscars. Also due soon is the already promised Shakespearean movie mash-up by myself and Fustilarian. It’s gonna be awesome, honest!

In the meantime, be sure to follow me on Twitter @DeusExCinema. The closest I’ve come to blogging in the past months is to regularly tweet, so even when my blog writing lapses you can be assured I am still watching more movies than doctors would rec0mmend.

Here’s to a late start to 2011, and hopefully many more entries in the months to come…

Smelled like… victory.

So a few weeks back, the Screen Cinema in town held a pub quiz to raise money for its rather run-down forecourt, and to give a nice polish to Mr Screen, the ever-so-creepy miniature usher statue that stands in the garden there. But it wasn’t just a pub quiz; it was a movie pub quiz.

Mr Screen, not so clean

Rarely one to miss a pub quiz, and never one to miss a movie quiz, I set about assembling a crack team to enter and win. None of that Ocean’s 11 nonsense mind, we’re talking full-on MASK here (except I texted them, no fancy watches). My crack team consisted of indie and ’50s specialist and fellow unpaid film critic Fergal, US arthouse and modern European cinema encyclopaedia Paul, collected all-rounder James and film studies master Pete. We thought we had it made…

So confident were we of winning that we decided to go for a team name that would, in theory, consign us to defeat. Now, it needs to be said that my pub quiz teams are known for their provocative titles. Some years ago our first film quiz name was the all too prophetic ‘Roman Polanski’s outstanding arrest warrant for statutory rape’. We came second. In a literature pub quiz shortly after, we kept the theme going with ‘Ayatollah Khomeini’s outstanding fatwā for Salman Rushdie’ – we won a sweeping victory. So the idea pitched for this quiz’s team name was to list off character traits in movies that would imply an early defeat (thus surprising everyone when we won). And that was how we came up with the team name ‘The corporate black guys wearing red shirts who have only one day to retirement’. Feeling this too long, we settled on the shorthand ‘Black guys in red shirts’, ensuring everyone at the quiz thought we were a pack of racists. You can’t win everything.

That over-confidence was shattered on arrival at MacTurcaills, the venue for the evening, when we saw the quality of some of the other teams, including one made up of the assembled film critics of Dublin, led by The Irish Times’ Donald Clarke, and friends from the Irish Independent and Hot Press magazine. *Gulp* we thought. And indeed some of us did – approaching drunkenness would be another spanner in the works of our otherwise well-oiled (and apparently racist) machine.

Do you know these men?

And yes, as a few rounds passed, we suddenly became aware that we were doing very well. The few we missed were close – the year the original Terminator was sent back from was 2029, not 2027. Then there were the lucky guesses – Nic Cage’s character Hi does in fact work at a Hudsucker plant in Raising Arizona, and somehow I remembered reading somewhere that The Wizard of Oz went through four different directors. And then there were the incredible moments – Fergal amazingly (and I might add ludicrously) naming all four Ghostbusters (first and last names); Paul delving into his brain to retrieve the name of Let the Right One In director Tomas Alfredson. But it was the themed rounds where we crucified. Quotes from films – 10/10. Matching actors to roles and roles to actors – 10/10. Naming foreign films based on their original titles – 10/10. That last one was a great round for me, if only because I always call Wild Strawberries ‘Smultronstället’; not out of pretension, the word just amuses me.

So yeah, we won. By a good margin, too. We triumphantly went up to claim our prize, with only one person coughing *racists* as we went. I’d rather be a racist than a loser. Though I’ll reiterate – not a racist.

Now, while in a way the real prize was beating the venerable Mr Clarke, whose own perplexing film quizzes have often ruined my Fridays, in another more accurate way, the real prize was the prize we received – a free screening of any film of our choice in the Screen. Win win.

There were complications of course: it had to be shown before the cinema opens at 2pm, so we’d need to start the film at 11am, limiting us to a 150min film. Also, only a Sunday would suit the five of us. More worrying, how do five people agree on the one film they want blown up on the big screen?  We each pitched five films, an odd mix of classics (The Adventures of Robin Hood, A Matter of Life and Death, À Bout de Souffle), blockbusters (Jurassic Park, Terminator 2: Judgment Day) and retro cult delights (Labyrinth, Repo Man, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension) that might never see a cineplex ever again. Then we each vetoed one film, leaving us with 20. Some good films fell by the wayside there, such as Battle Royale, Road House, Bridge on the River Kwai. To make the final decision, we turned to the cornerstone of Western democracy – Eurovision!

We each voted for our 12 favourites, giving them from one to 12 points, and some interesting films came to the fore. In fifth place came the delightfully manic Crank – probably for the best, as we’d have been so over-energised that Sunday morning we’d have spent the rest of the day running around punching strangers in the face. In fourth place came The Lion King, a nostalgic necessity (though soon for re-release, rumouredly in vile 3D). In joint third came Repo Man and T2 – both worthy contenders, especially since we were all too young to have seen T2 when it was originally released. Second came a pitch of mine, and one of the entries in my pantheon of great movies – Miyazaki’s Princess Mononoke. But the clear winner (with an impressive 39 votes to Mononoke’s 33) was Apocalypse Now.

Mr Clean, not so... not riddled with bullets

Surely if there is a list of the films you must see on the big screen before you die, then Apocalypse Now is amongst them. The broad visuals, the alarming soundscape, the terrifying performances. It was indeed a perfect choice (albeit a touch heavy for a Sunday morning – the horror… the horror…). So we arrived at the Screen on Sunday morning with a few extra friends (the ones who weren’t hungover) in tow and enjoyed an audiovisual feast. It really did smell like victory. And coffee.

The whole experience was a delight. I had, admittedly, never seen the original, non-Redux cut of Apocalypse, and enjoyed the smoother flow of the story. Our slim audience, seen embarrassingly out of focus below, were for the most part hugely impressed. Many had never seen any version of the film, and none on the big screen, especially a private big screen.

Not a full house

On our way out, the girl who ran the quiz asked us how we’d enjoyed the film, and told us that the quiz had indeed raised enough money for a little polish for Mr Screen and a sprucing up of his cobblestone garden. On the off-chance there will be another quiz, she asked us what hypothetical rounds we might do poorly in to give other teams a chance. We weren’t sure, so suggested romcoms – nothing we can’t bone up on in the interim. “You know you beat Donald Clarke?” she asked, still surprised. Yes. Yes we did.

And as an extra bonus, Apocalypse Now had totally vindicated our team name – the two black guys died first.

"And then the Ugly Duckling realised he was no longer an ugly duckling, he was now an enormous black guy."

The Blind Side will forever be known as that film that got “your one from all those romcoms” an Oscar. Because let’s face it, after her exciting first appearance in Speed, no-one ever thought Sandra Bullock would win an Oscar. Even Julia Roberts won an Oscar in less time than she did.

But its one factoid aside, is it actually any good?

Well, surprisingly, yes. As good as any straight-forward, feel-good, triumph-over-adversity, could-easily-have-been-a-made-for-TV-movie film can be.

The Blind Side has a lot in its favour – it’s a true story, and a recent story at that. It has reasonably strong actors with fun, punchy dialogue and a few important life lessons. It has an ever-so-slightly over-the-top dramatic soundtrack by Carter Burwell. But most of all, it has something that very few films successfully achieve these days, and that’s pacing.

Somehow, in all of its 130 minutes, while you may never be utterly riveted to the screen, looking at your watch will be far from your thoughts. The Blind Side is so excessively endearing that you get strangely caught up in its suspiciously nice world.

And my is it nice! Somehow Sandra Bullock, as successful interior designer cum would-be philanthropist Leigh Anne Tuohy, takes a character who is almost inhumanly decent, overpoweringly Christian and altogether just plain nice and invests in her a puzzlingly suitable bitchy charm. For all Bullock’s claims that it was a tough role to prepare for, you can’t help but imagine she is very similar to Tuohy in real life, at least in terms of personality – ever-so lovely but would kill you if you got in the way of what she wanted most of all. (No, I will not be getting into her private life, thank you.)

Similarly, her husband Sean, played with Waltons-style charm by country singer Tim McGraw, is just plain nice. Like, inspiring nice. A part of you wants to believe that if he’s not having affairs all over town (don’t even go there) then he at least has a few door-to-door salesmen chained up down in the basement. But the other part of you just deals with the fact that these people probably are that nice. The real-life photo montage that plays over the credits confirms it. They’re nice. Good lovely people. Damn them.

It’s because they’re so believably nice that what happens next doesn’t jar. They take in an enormous black kid off the street – because they’re just that nice. Yes, we can work in rich-guilt or whatever, but the film doesn’t want to deal with that. It wants to deal with them being nice to poor Michael Oher.

Quinton Aaron, as Michael, never quite gets across much more than repressed sadness and meekly expressed joy. Of course, this is such a simple story that he doesn’t need to. Any anger he might feel at his former life is saved for the football field, and those scenes are largely played for laughs, as the lumbering menace discovers his inherent skills.

There are little moments of rich versus poor, white versus black, and the film treads into areas of drugs and gang culture, but it quickly returns to themes of family and self-worth. The whole thing reeks of saccharine, and yet you can’t really complain about it.

There are the lesser moments. Sean Junior, the family’s biological son, as played by 11-year-old Jae Head, is a bit too annoyingly cutesy, but even he manages to endear at times. In one sequence, where Michael saves Sean Jr’s life, the audience is downright patronised as Leigh Anne slowly pieces together how it happened. And Kathy Bates shows up as a tutor for Michael, who helps him get into university (and thus a proper football team), but her relevance seems empty until her appearance (or rather, the appearance of someone she resembles) in that final photo montage – no doubt her character became an important friend to the family, but the film never quite captures that.

Again, the blips are brief. The film strolls along at its own pace, only speeding up for the football games which are few enough to just about keep sports fans interested without actually making this a “sports film”.

The Blind Side will undoubtedly become another forgotten film that never won much but never offended anybody – it’s just another touching heart-warmer about a troubled kid who gets lucky and, pushing himself, becomes a hero.

It’s far from perfect, but who needs perfect when you can have ever-so-very nice?

3/5

KABLOOIE!!

Now, I enjoyed Taken as much as the next racist man, which is quite a lot, but not even John Travolta’s bald crown could convince me to go see director Pierre Morel’s new film From Paris with Love.

Why? Well, because not even its own advertisements seem to have faith in the film.

Two agents. One city. No Merci.

I always say yes to a good pun (and often to a bad one too), but did no-one at Movie Posters Inc. stop to think for one moment just what the double meaning actually meant?

“Two agents. One City. No thank you.” Oh, ok then.

Yes, I’m being exceedingly literal, but seriously, if the tagline doesn’t instill confidence, why should I be expected to fork out?